


hold the line (to my heart)

by Erotes



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: & the fire fams, Canon Compliant, Episode: s02e03 Hold The Line, Everyone Else Knows™, Getting Together, Jealous Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), M/M, Thanks, buck is a smug puppy, hello crossover episode 2x03, how did this angst turn into fluff, i stan two morons, no beta we die like men, self indulgent jealousy that i choose to believe was subtext, sweeter than evan buckley's heart of gold, who is also wildly oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erotes/pseuds/Erotes
Summary: Eddie Diaz is notjealous. It is entirely normal to be annoyed that his best friend is busy flirting in the middle of a crisis. Obviously.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 71
Kudos: 1006





	hold the line (to my heart)

"Buck, stop staring."

"I'm not staring," Buck hisses back to Hen, even as he continues to stare, unsubtly, at the firefighter — the firefighter who has her helmet off and is very clearly female and _beautiful_. 

Eddie kind of wants to smack him on the back of the head. "You're staring."

He sees Buck shoot a vaguely betrayed look at him out of the corner of his eye and smiles slightly. Fortunately, the Chief's orders seem to finally recapture the blonde's attention. He doesn't look back at the firefighter once. 

Not that Eddie was paying too much attention. He had orders to listen to too, after all, and Buck's... well, Buckness wasn't his problem to monitor. 

It's only when they finally break that Eddie catches Buck staring once more. He has the brief impulse to grab his arm and haul him in the other direction, if only to keep Buck from doing something stupid. Like going over there and making a fool of himself in the middle of an _emergency_.

Hen seems to have the same sentiment. She turns on their youngest with a scolding frown. "Buck, seriously? Please don't make me report you to HR."

Buck looks so scandalized that Eddie almost laughs. He doesn't, however, because he happens to agree with Hen.

"No, no, I swear I know her from somewhere," Buck says quickly, glancing briefly at Eddie as if looking for backup. Eddie arches a brow at him. Buck scowls and turns back, squinting across at the firefighter as she turns away with her own crew. "It's killing me."

And Eddie— well, Eddie doesn't doubt that. Buck is incredibly earnest, wearing every one of his emotions openly, and the confusion in his tone is obvious. Maybe he's seen her on TV, or something. It's not like Buck himself hasn't gone viral a couple of times for one stupid stunt or another. 

He's staring again and Eddie, snorting, gives him a light punch in the shoulder. Buck gives him another betrayed look, but Eddie just smiles as he sets out to find the water and leaves Buck to it. 

—

"Just gonna be you and me," Buck says with a grin, patting Eddie's shoulder as he pulls his kit out of the truck. It makes him smile, how pleased Buck sounds about it, but he doesn't get a chance to correct him before an ATV is pulling up behind them. 

"You ready, soldier?"

Eddie glances over his shoulder to see none other than Buck's crush waiting on him. The irony is not lost on him as he nods and calls back, "Be right there."

"Well, hop to it. These at risk kids aren't getting any less at risk," she says, and then she's gone. Eddie can't help but to laugh at her snark, even as he adjusts the collar of his shirt. 

Buck, of course, has not missed a single second. "Uh, her?" he asks, voice pitched oddly. Eddie glances sideways at him, but Buck is staring after the ATV with an odd look on his face. Eddie is reminded, vaguely, of when they met Ali. "You're going with— her?"

He's jealous, Eddie realizes a moment later, and almost rolls his eyes. No doubt that Buck would prefer to trade places with Eddie, and no doubt Hen wouldn't let him consider it for a second. _Eddie_ wouldn't consider it, either. 

"Yeah," he says, and slides past Buck swiftly to put an end to the conversation. 

Of course, he doesn't get far before Buck's voice is drawing him up short again. "Wait, guys, guys, guys—" he bursts, and both Eddie and Hen turn to look at him. "I know who that is!" He sounds thrilled, really. Elated. He's got that delighted, awed look on his face as he says urgently, "She's— she's Firefox."

Eddie and Hen exchange glances. Eddie shrugs at Buck, and thinks that might be the end of it, finally. Maybe he'll get the hint that neither of them share in his enthusiasm. 

"Firefox?" Buck repeats, sounding a touch incredulous now, "You guys seriously don't know who Firefox is? She's gone viral, like, five times. Total badass!"

Eddie arches a brow at his shoes, still adjusting the kit across his shoulders. So, it was stupid stunts on TV. _Sounds like they're made for each other_ , Eddie thinks drily, looking up when Buck lets out this bashful little laugh that he hasn't quite ever heard before.

"I, uh... follow her on Instagram," he admits, and of course. She wasn't even a _new_ crush. He looks genuinely confused when he adds, "Some reason, she didn't follow me back."

Good. As if Buck needs any more reason to be distracted; Eddie can't even imagine how obnoxious Buck might be if they had, God forbid, actually exchanged DMs. He grins, amused at Buck's expense, and shrugs as he and Hen finally turn to go, leaving Buck behind with his shovel and his fawning. 

—

When Eddie sees Firefox— Marjan, that is— go shooting by in her ATV with a whoop of delight, he's reminded immediately of Buck. "She always like that?" he asks Judd, watching the dust cloud as she leaves them behind. 

"Always," Judd confirms, laughing, and Dios— it really was for the best that Buck was far, far away on his own task. He couldn't imagine the chaos if those two were paired up together. 

_Firefox_ might even follow him back if she realized how alike they could be.

—

"This your kid?" 

Eddie glances up from the absurd photo of a Prius wedged between two buildings to see Marjan gesturing with her phone. He nods and smiles. "Yeah, that's Christopher. He's my world. Doing the whole, you know, single dad thing."

He's not sure why he said the last bit, actually. It came out of his mouth before he could consider how that might sound, but Marjan doesn't even say anything about it. A few moments later she's saying incredulously, "You did _not_ build him a skateboard."

Eddie grins at the memory. She's right; technically _he_ didn't. "Yeah, well, Buck helped." He glances up at her then, unable to get the smile off his face. _Helped_ is one thing; he doesn't mention that it was also Buck's idea. 

"Wait, is that that creepy guy who was staring at me before?" She's zooming in on a photo, tilting her head slightly to inspect it. Eddie bets it's one of Buck and Chris. 

"He's harmless. Mostly," he adds, because he doesn't want Marjan to get any ideas. One look from her and Buck would be distracted for days. They did still have a fire to fight, after all. 

"Huh." When he glances over, Marjan looks a little confused and very thoughtful, her attention still on her phone. Maybe he shouldn't have corrected her after all. Buck _does_ look pretty good whenever he's got Christopher in his arms, which is a thought that he chooses not to dwell on or think too hard about.

The radio crackles before he can say anything else, and Marjan finally puts her phone — and the photo of Buck — away. 

Eddie's just relieved to finally have something to do, that's all. 

—

Eddie is... well, he's fucking drowning in concern. He can't stop thinking about the moment the helicopter disappeared into smoke, about the last time he was in the thick of smoke and everyone around him was dying and there was nothing he could do to help them. It's almost more than he can stand, and he's sitting there just staring blankly ahead when he finally hears Buck's voice. 

Dios, _Buck_. He doesn't want to consider the look on Buck's face. But when Eddie finally sees him, Buck is grinning ear to ear, walking with his shoulder lodged against another of the Austin firefighter's. 

"Oh, glad to see strike team's already got their feet up," the firefighter says, sounding tired but playful, and Buck grins harder. 

"Yeah, you guys must be exhausted, all that go-karting up _and_ down the hill?" Buck chimes in, laughing, and the Austin kid claps a hand on Buck's shoulder in solidarity. Like a thanks, for backing him up in the teasing. 

The slightest bit of relief that Eddie had felt, knowing the Buck at least was safe, dissolves instantly. And maybe Buck finally sees it in his face, because his grin starts to fade slowly in realization as his gaze darts around the defeated group. 

"You didn't hear, did you?" Marjan asks tiredly, saving Eddie from finding the energy to break the news himself.

The firefighter's hand is still on Buck's shoulder, but now it looks like he's gripping it with worry, not humor. His voice is tense as he asks, "Hear what?" 

"TK..." Judd sits forward slightly, sounding exhausted, and Eddie can only watch as the kid, TK, sways slightly, putting his weight into the hand on Buck's shoulder when they tell them. When TK turns and takes off toward the command tent, Buck is right behind him. 

Immediately. Just like that. He doesn't even stop to check in with Eddie, or really even look at him, before following TK. Eddie tells himself that he's worried about Hen, of course, but it still stings in a way that he doesn't quite have the energy for right now.

"Let's go," Eddie sighs, sliding down off the back of the ATV. "Someone needs to make sure Buck doesn't piss off the Chief." 

"And we sure as hell know TK is going to be right there with him," Judd mutters, standing up himself. Eddie is starting to get the feeling that maybe Firefox isn't the most like Buck after all. Maybe it's TK, if the exasperated-yet-fond note in Judd's voice means anything. 

—

He tries not to stare when TK leaves the tent and Buck watches, looking pensive and thoughtful. He barely even notices when, as soon as the pizza arrives, Buck is claiming a box for himself and heading determinedly into the dark. And he definitely isn't taking note of the fact that he's approaching TK, who has his head down as he talks on the phone. 

Eddie's just worried about Buck. About how he's handling it, knowing Hen is out there. Someone has to keep an eye on him to make sure he's not going to do anything stupid, right? And Cap is still back in L.A., so it's got to be Eddie. 

He's only half paying attention, any way, as TK stands and then sits again, his head bent towards Buck the slightest bit as they talk. Eddie doesn't need to know _what_ they're talking about; it's good, really, that Buck has someone to talk to right now. 

Even if it's not him.

—

He can't even pretend to be surprised when Judd comes over to him fifteen minutes later asking if he's aware of what "his idiot" is up to. Eddie glances, immediately, towards Buck and TK — but they're gone. _Dios_. He looked away for less than a minute. He's even less surprised when he realizes where they must be a moment before Judd tells him. 

"Hey, dumbass, dumbasser," Judd calls into the dark, as Eddie and Marjan move along the front of the truck to cut them off. He wonders who is supposed to be who, but there are more important things to think about — like how TK and Buck stop in sync, looking to one another first. 

"Did you stop and consider the consequences of what you're about to do at all?" Judd demands, stepping out behind them. 

Eddie _knows_ Buck. He knows the weird twitching his face does when he's trying to silently communicate with someone. He just didn't know that he and TK could silently communicate so _well_ , if the slight nod TK gives him is any indication. 

"You obviously don't know Buck," Eddie says, not quite keeping the irritation out of his voice as he says it. He's talking to Judd, truly, but his gaze darts towards TK quickly. 

Marjan is right behind him, though she sounds significantly less annoyed. "You two didn't seriously think that you could sneak off and drive into wild fires, did you?" 

Buck's attention shifts towards her quickly, glances briefly off of Eddie, and then pivots around to Judd, who is now shining a flashlight in both of the idiots' eyes. 

"Yes?" TK asks, sounding so much like Buck in that moment that Eddie actually rolls his eyes. 

"Well, that ain't gonna happen." Paul crosses his arms. 

And Buck, fucking _Buck_ , just has to open his big mouth. "You think you're going to stop us?" he asks, challenging and stubborn to the last, and Eddie doesn't know how to feel about the fact that for once, _us_ doesn't mean he and Buck. That Buck is about to side with TK over them, over _him_.

"Stop you?" Mateo puts in, before Eddie can say something a bit more brash. "We're going with you."

"Come on," Eddie says instead, turning away from the others as Buck and TK exchange another overly communicative glance. "Let's go." 

Somehow, he doesn't have to look to know that Buck is following TK towards the back of the truck. Again. If Eddie slams the door behind him a little too hard, the only one who notices is Marjan, who arches a brow at him silently. 

—

"They're not in here!" he hears TK shouting amidst the chaos as they all scramble over to the wrecked copter, followed a moment later by, " _Buck!_ They're not in here!" 

"Hey, they made it out!" Buck calls back, just as the the rest of the team is joining them on the crash site. Eddie isn't surprised that those two were the first to make it over, though he is a bit surprised when Buck turns and looks right at him, repeating, "They made it out!"

Relief hits Eddie instantly, the knowledge that Hen is still out there, somewhere. He takes a step towards the wreck, closer to Buck, but the blonde is already sliding down from his perch and grabbing TK's hand to haul him up from under the mess. 

He can only watch as they take off together before Judd can even yell out orders, Marjan and Paul fanning out in the other direction. Eddie looks at Judd, who shrugs at him, and then they are taking their own route together, shouting for Hen and their Captain.

Distantly, he can hear Buck's voice, echoing through the trees, overlapped with TK's. Eddie shouts louder, drowning it out. 

—

He can't even hate TK a little bit, not really. The kid is yelling for his father, scrambling desperately against the wreckage, and Eddie only has a moment to confirm a pulse before TK is on the Captain, gripping his face. 

Eddie slides to the side, checking over Hen, and when he goes to haul her up he realizes that Buck is there, ducking under Hen's other arm. When they stumble out of the shaft, adjusting Hen between them, he realizes that Buck doesn't just have an arm around Hen; he has his fingers clenched in Eddie's shirt, knuckles pressing against his shoulder blade. 

Eddie doesn't think. He shifts his grip on Hen, pressing his hand flat against Buck's back, and together, they get Hen to the truck. Eddie climbs into the back this time, their de facto medic with Hen down, and even though TK is back there with them, Buck doesn't stray from Hen's— and Eddie's— side. 

It's grounding, the heat of his shoulder pressing against Eddie's as he works first on Hen and then on Captain Strand. Sometimes the truck hits a bump and Buck's weight jostles him, throwing off his work a little bit, but he can't bring himself to say a damn thing about it. 

Not when Buck is gripping Hen's limp hand with both of his own, alternating between talking to her urgently and looking at Eddie with huge, worried eyes, like he _trusts_ him to fix it. At some point he can hardly stand it, and he drops his hand over Buck's and Hen's, squeezing briefly, before going back to work. 

If Buck leans a little more heavily on him after, Eddie still doesn't mention it. 

—

He feels better by morning, like some of the tension has left him. The fire has shifted once more, dying down a bit with the ditch and the rain, and the Chief has announced that the out-of-state crews will be headed home. It'll be good to be home. To see Chris, and to let things go back to normal. 

Still, he might actually miss the Austin crew, and he makes his rounds to say goodbye. He even goes as far as to take a photo with Marjan, smiling to himself at the thought of the look of Buck's face when he sees it later. 

Which reminds him. He leans in as they're about to take off with the ATV, adding, "And, for the love of God, please follow Buck back on Insta." He won't hear the end of it if Buck even realizes that Firefox has followed _him_ and not Buck. Besides, Buck deserves to be happy. 

Marjan makes a face as Paul starts laughing, and then she shoots Eddie an all too knowing look, almost sly. Eddie isn't sure what to make of it, and she pulls away before he can demand to know _what_ it was about. 

Shaking his head, Eddie smiles to himself and turns to head back to the 118's truck. He's rounding the corner, hitching his kit over his shoulder, when he realizes that that's TK's voice. His steps falter momentarily, and then he feels like an idiot; this _is_ his team's truck, after all. It's not like Eddie can be intruding. 

"I gotta mention, though, I already have a boyfriend and it's pretty serious, so... uh," TK is saying, sounding happy and content, and Eddie trips. He thinks, _he cannot be talking to Buck_ , and yet, when he finally makes it around the corner, he sees Buck's back. TK meets Eddie's gaze over Buck's shoulder, briefly, and then says, "But, it was really nice meeting you, man. Take care."

He pats Buck's shoulder, who turns to watch him go with a baffled look. Eddie can't help but to stare at the faint flush that is starting to creep up the blonde's face, glancing away when TK claps his shoulder and says, with a hint of a knowing smirk, "Great working with you, man."

"Yeah, great working with you too," Eddie says on autopilot, even as his thoughts are turning over sluggishly. He thinks: TK turned Buck down. He thinks: Buck _asked TK out._ His gaze goes back to Buck, who is still looking after TK contemplatively, almost bashfully, and Eddie thinks, abruptly, that it was _not_ great working with TK. He would have rather not have worked with TK, actually. In fact, he barely even worked with TK at all, considering he spent the whole time attached to Buck. And he already _has_ a boyfriend. 

He snaps out of his daze of thoughts when Buck's suddenly looking right at him, a confusing flicker of emotions crossing his face rapidly. Eddie's thoughts are too distracted to categorize any of them, and he shakes himself out of it, spitting out the first thing he can think of in a desperate attempt to pretend that he didn't hear any of that. "Where's Hen?"

"Uh—" Buck turns, following Eddie as he climbs into the back of the truck, and promptly seems to forget all about TK and his rejection as he starts chattering about Hen. 

Eddie nods along, but _he_ hasn't forgotten about TK. Or the strange look on Buck's face, staring after him. He's not sure if he's going to forget him for a while, and the worst part about it is that he can't even pin down _why_.

—

They're roughly thirty minutes out, and Eddie still hasn't stopped turning it over and over in his head. Miraculously, Buck hasn't fallen asleep yet, bent over his phone and chewing his lower lip. Someone should really tell him to stop doing that. It's bad for his skin, surely. He shouldn't have such bad habits. Eddie is just gearing up to tell him to cut it out, because it's distracting as hell, when Buck suddenly looks up with a grin. "Hey, Firefox followed me back."

He looks pleased, and Eddie is— conflicted. Happy that Buck is happy, but also regretting telling Marjan to do it, just a little bit. Besides— "Oh, right. I forgot Marjan was your real Austin crush."

Buck's eyebrows shoot up, and Eddie wants to bang his head against the wall. Why? _Why_ did that come out of his mouth? He catches Hen's eye in the rearview mirror, her eyebrow raised at him, and he considers trying to climb into the front seat to get away from Buck and his own damn mouth. 

"My what?" Buck asks, sounding vaguely confused, and glancing back down at his phone as if Marjan's profile might hold the answers. 

_Yes, what, exactly?_ Eddie swallows, suddenly at a loss, and completely fucking screwed. He didn't even know how to put it into words, but he tries to sound as casual as possible, as if he's just teasing, "You know, Firefox? For a moment there I forgot you were mooning over her, what with TK." 

Buck looks briefly like he gets it, and then more confused, and then he starts to blush, very, very slowly. "I never— I mean, I don't have a crush on Firefox, she's just... badass." 

He sounds a little unsure of that statement, in Eddie's opinion, and he notes that Buck didn't say a damn thing about TK. Which is confirmation enough, but Eddie still can't seem to stop himself from pushing. "So, TK, then?"

Eddie thinks he hears Hen snort from the driver's seat. He tries very hard not to think about it, or about how he must sound, because he himself isn't totally sure how he sounds or where he is going with this. It's just odd that Buck, his best friend, never mentioned something as huge as this, right? Maybe Buck thought he couldn't tell him, or something, which is a problem. An annoying problem. Yeah, Eddie is just curious and vaguely irritated because Buck hadn't told him he was bi, or whatever he was. 

"I—" Buck closes his mouth, opens it, then closes it again. He is turning an interesting shade of red, one Eddie has never seen on him before, and it looks like he's floundering. "Wait, no, that's not what I meant. I mean, I don't have a crush on... TK." It sounds somewhat like a question, and then he adds, "Or Firefox. You know, obviously." 

_Obviously._ Eddie almost snorts, but instead he just gives Buck a skeptical look. "Really? You just ask anyone out? Seriously, Buck, I don't see why you're not just being honest. It's just me." Okay, so maybe he's a little more annoyed than he had thought, and maybe it is coming out a little more in his tone all of a sudden. But it's messed up, the fact that his best friend didn't tell him and now is lying to his face about it. Like, is he afraid of what Eddie will say, or something? 

Buck gapes, looking vaguely scandalized, and then waves his hand wildly. "Hey, I did _not_ ask TK out— I mean, I don't think I did, not like that—" That was definitely a laugh from Hen, and Buck flushes all over again, before pointing at Eddie triumphantly. "Hey, why were you eavesdropping, huh? Maybe _you_ like TK."

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous deflections he's ever heard, and he stares at Buck, who seems to know this but is too stubborn to stand down. He's got that _yeah, that's what I said, and now I'm sticking with it_ look on his face. Eddie protests, "It's not eavesdropping if it's _our truck_ , Buck—"

"Ah ha!" Buck crows, "That's not a denial. See, _you_ like TK. Case closed." He leans back, crossing his arms across his chest, and looks at Eddie smugly. 

A beat passes. "Seriously?" he finally asks, because they both know that this is ridiculous, but Buck just shrugs, still looking like he's won something by successfully derailing the conversation. Eddie rolls his eyes and drops it, crossing his own arms as he settles back to get comfortable. He might grumble something under his breath in Spanish about Buck's stubbornness, but that's his business. 

Buck is still looking at him though, less smug and more pensive, and Dios, but he just can't let it go. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"What?" Eddie asks, caught off guard, and feeling somewhat as if he is now on the defensive. How the hell did that happen? He was supposed to be teasing Buck about his love life, not... whatever this is. "What are you talking about? I don't care."

Buck frowns at him, looking briefly disappointed, and then he narrows his eyes at Eddie. "Then why did you ask?"

"Just making conversation." Eddie crosses his arms a little tighter, completely and utterly unwilling to analyze for himself his reasons. Weren't friends supposed to ask these things? Exactly. "Hey, you brought up Marjan first."

"Yeah," Buck says slowly, frowning slightly, and then he leans forward, looking like he's put it all together in his head. "So, what, then, you like Marjan? That's what this is about?"

Eddie stares at him blankly. _Marjan?_ Where did that come from? " _What?_ I'm not the one who was staring at her!"

"I wasn't staring!" Buck squawks, scandalized all over again, and then he whips his head towards the front when Hen calls back, "Yes, you were."

Eddie gives him an _I-told-you-so_ look and feels vindicated. See, this isn't about him at all. This is about Buck, and the way he wears his heart on his sleeve like an obnoxious overgrown puppy, even when he is supposed to be working. Clearly. 

"You're the one who went with her," Buck grumbles mutinously as he turns back, still determined to deflect this onto Eddie. 

And Eddie thinks about the way that Buck had sounded, when he realized that Eddie was going with Marjan and he wasn't. He arches a brow, and he might not be interested in Marjan, but still. He can't resist rubbing it in, just a little. "Jealous?"

"I am _not_ —" Buck starts to protest, and then stops, staring at Eddie. He's got that look on his face that he gets whenever he's working through something, putting pieces together, and Eddie is suddenly uneasy without knowing exactly why. "Wait, hold on. Are _you_ jealous?"

"Oh, boy," Hen says, and suddenly the radio in front comes on. 

"What?" Eddie asks, taken aback. He has no idea how Buck put one and one together and came up with _that_ conclusion, because obviously he's not jealous. He's not into Marjan _or_ TK, they've been over this, and the only other factor was— 

Buck. Buck was the only common denominator, here, and if it's not Marjan or TK then it must be _Buck._ Which is... ridiculous. Buck's his _best friend_ , of course he's going to be annoyed and yeah, maybe jealous, when his best friend forgets all about him for an entire day to go mooning after some Austin firefighters. That was to be expected, because Buck was _his_ fire partner, always. And Buck had never once looked at _him_ with that pretty blush and— His thoughts stall and come to a halt as he backtracks, reanalyzes, and has a momentary, five second crisis. 

Oh, Dios. 

Is he jealous over _Buck_? He's jealous over Buck. He wanted to drag Buck away from Marjan and TK and keep him far, far away because he was jealous. He was annoyed beyond belief to hear that Buck was stealing a firetruck for TK because he was _jealous._ Over Buck. His best friend. 

_But I'm straight_ , Eddie thinks, a little hysterically, and stares at Buck blankly as he tries and fails to come up with an answer for him. 

The blonde leans forward, looking suddenly pleased, and he sounds delighted when he says, "Oh, my God, you _are._ You're jealous!"

"I'm," Eddie tries, and fails, and leans back heavily against the wall as he blinks. Is he in love with his best friend? He might be in love with his best friend, who might, blessedly, be too dense to realize it, even in the face of obvious proof that Eddie is... jealous. Dear God. How is this his life? How hadn't he noticed sooner? Why couldn't he have noticed _before_ he was completely obvious about it? 

"There, there," Buck says smugly, still sounding abundantly pleased, as he pats Eddie's knee consolingly. "I understand. I _am_ pretty great. But don't worry, Eddie, I'm not gonna replace you. You're still my favorite." 

Eddie does _not_ blush, but he is suddenly self-aware enough to admit that it is a near thing. Dios. Dios, Dios, Dios... How is he supposed to put up with Buck being _Buck_ with this newfound information? Buck says shit like this all the time, and he _means_ it, even if he doesn't mean it in the way that Eddie suddenly wants him to mean it. Why did he have to open his mouth? He should have just stayed quiet and let this whole thing pass them by, and then he wouldn't be sitting here re-evaluating his sexuality _and_ his sanity. 

"How reassuring," he somehow manages to say, and Eddie doesn't know how but he sounds... normal. A touch exasperated, even. Not at all like he's having a silent breakdown. 

Buck leans back with a grin and goes back to playing on his phone, humming happily to himself. If he wasn't so damn tall, Eddie is fairly certain that he would be swinging his feet like a smug child. For someone with such a big ego, Buck really did take to compliments — if Eddie could call this that — with all the enthusiasm of a Golden Retriever. In the past, it was amusing. Now, he feels a little too warm and has the horrifying realization that it is _adorable_.

Eddie tilts his head back against the wall, sending a desperate prayer up to the heavens, and looks back down to find Hen looking at him in the mirror once more. She gives him such a dry, knowing look, that Eddie realizes two things at once: that she _knows_ , and also that this was the same damn look that Marjan and TK had given him. Which means that _they_ knew. Is he the only one who _didn't_ know? Embarrassing. He's _thirty-three_. A bunch of twenty-somethings and _Hen_ should not be more up to date with his feelings than he is. 

Eddie blows out a sigh that is nearly a dismayed groan and closes his eyes, determined to simply go to sleep and forget all about it. Maybe by the time they get to L.A., he will have. 

—

It's been hours, and Eddie hasn't slept for a single second. Instead he's simply kept his eyes closed, pretending to sleep and avoiding conversation while he meticulously questioned everything he ever thought he knew about himself. And about Buck. And about _them_. He is not exactly pleased with the outcome of his reflections, actually. He is most definitely in love with his best friend, and he's come to realize that that's not even the end of it. He's been thinking of— and treating Buck as— a partner. A _co-parent._ And Buck hadn't done a damn thing to stop him, which basically meant Eddie was a terrible person for pining after his sweet, innocent, _naive_ best friend. 

He's in the middle of contemplating just how fucked he really is, and what his game plan is for pretending otherwise, when the truck rumbles to a halt. Hen gets out to get gas, and he's certain that Buck will be off to get candy like an excited preteen, but after a few long moments he can still hear Buck's breathing across from him. Eddie stubbornly keeps his eyes closed, instantly aware of the fact that they're alone. 

"Hey," Buck says suddenly, nudging his foot against Eddie's. "Eddie."

And Eddie has no choice but to open his eyes, tipping his head down to look across at Buck. The blonde has an odd look on his face, like a strange mixture of embarrassed and determined, and Eddie regrets everything. If only he could have actually been asleep. If only he could have pretended a little longer, instead of giving into the need to respond to Buck when he said his name like _that_.

"Yeah?" he asks quietly, clearing his throat when he realizes that, despite the lack of sleep, he still sounds a touch too hoarse. 

Buck's gaze flickers down and then back up to his own as he sits forward slightly. "Uh, about Firefox," he says, a touch awkward, and Eddie tries not to tense. "You know, you were right. I was jealous that you guys got to go together. Not of you, though." He says it carefully, like he's trying to find the right words, and presents them like an offering. 

It takes Eddie a moment to try to figure out what he's saying, and when he does he still isn't entirely certain that he's getting this right. So, what, Buck was jealous over _Eddie_? He scrambles for the memory, turning over the scandalized way Buck had asked if he was going with Marjan right after he'd been gloating about he and Eddie working together. Right. Okay. He can see that, he thinks, though he doesn't know why Buck is saying this now. 

"Oh," he finally says after a moment, blinking across at Buck. "Okay."

Maybe, he thinks, Buck is trying to make up for calling him out earlier. Evening the playing field, a little. That would be something Buck would do; as much as he can be a jackass sometimes, he's also painfully caring and considerate. And Buck, he knows, has no qualms with admitting how attached he is to his friends. He can freely admit to being jealous over Eddie's friendship without having a four hour long crisis over it, because he's Buck. 

And because he's not hopelessly in love with the object of his jealousy. There's that, too. 

"Okay," Buck echoes, still watching him with that look on his face, and Eddie notes that he hasn't shifted his foot away. Eddie gets the impression that he has more to say, and after another few silent moments he is proven correct. "So, uh," the blonde starts again, clearing his throat, and that's a blush starting to creep its way up his neck. Eddie stares, and Buck seems to flush even faster, turning that red that Eddie had thought was reserved for TK. His words get a bit hurried when he finally concludes, "We should get dinner. After shift."

Eddie blinks at him. Buck has, on numerous occasions, simply shown up at his home with takeout and announced that he was having dinner with "the Diaz boys." There's rarely an actual discussion about it, given that they eat the majority of their meals together at the station anyway. "Okay?" he says, though it comes out like a question. 

Buck shifts slightly in his seat, and then coughs. "I mean, do you want to get dinner?" 

"Sure," Eddie says slowly, trying to figure out why Buck felt the need to rephrase. Maybe he felt rude for making it a statement, but again, this is Buck. He's always welcome, and he knows it. 

"I mean," Buck starts, again, and Eddie thinks that he's actually going to rephrase this, again. What is so difficult about dinner? Eddie's already agreed, and yet Buck's face is doing some interesting things right now. His words come out a bit more slowly, more deliberate, "Do you want to get dinner? With me?" Eddie must be looking at him like he's lost his mind, because Buck is flustered and blurting out a moment later, "I am asking you out, Eddie."

Eddie blinks, then blinks again. He stares at Buck. Buck stares back.

 _Well, that's a pretty blush_ , he thinks, dazed, and finally connects the dots in his head. Sure, it helps that Buck spelled it out for him, but even that took him several moments of delayed processing to understand. Because apparently Buck is asking him out. On a date. For dinner. In an undoubtedly non-platonic way. He thinks. 

"Oh," he comes up with, brilliantly, and then realizes that he is blushing. Viciously. Buck is looking less careful and more hopeful by the second, and, Dios, those puppy eyes are going to be the death of him. "Uh— I mean. Yes?"

Buck looks pleased, and possibly a bit surprised. "Okay," he says happily, and kicks his other foot out to press that one between Eddie's. He still hasn't moved the first away, and Eddie doesn't move a muscle, watching with rapt interest as Buck proceeds to go back to phone, humming, like nothing happened. Just like that. 

This time, when Hen starts up the truck, Eddie keeps his eyes open, gaze fixed absently on Buck as he sorts through this new addition to his mental breakdown. Which is slightly less of a breakdown now, he thinks. He once again reanalyzes everything he thought he knew about Buck, trying to slot this information in accordingly, and spends another few hours studying Buck pensively, as if he'll find a thorough explanation on the blonde's skin. 

During this time, Buck only glances back up at Eddie once, smiles when he sees him staring, and goes back to his phone. Thirty minutes after that, he's asleep, head tilted against the wall and feet still caging one of Eddie's in. And Eddie can't stop staring, even when Hen snorts from the front seat and chides in an eerie echo of yesterday— was that yesterday?— morning, "Stop staring." 

"No," he says, instead of trying to argue otherwise, and Hen cackles in the front seat. Eddie smiles, and goes back to blatantly staring at the sleeping blonde. 

—

Eddie wakes up when the truck comes to a jarring halt, and realizes that at some point he must have fallen asleep. He blinks, winces when he lifts his head too quickly— Dios, is his neck sore— and is greeted with the sight of Buck, still sound asleep against the other wall. Eddie smiles, hit with a sudden rush of fondness, and leans forward to set a hand of Buck's shoulder. He shakes, gently, and says, "Hey, cariño, we're here."

Buck is not, and never has been, graceful about waking up. He jolts slightly, banging his head against the wall loud enough to make Eddie wince, and then wipes absently at his mouth as he tips his head forward to blink at Eddie. His gaze flickers down to his arm, briefly, apparently taking stock of Eddie's hand still on his shoulder, and then he looks up with a classic Buckley grin. "Hey."

"Hey," Eddie returns, unable to stop the smile that tugs upwards at the fond look in Buck's eyes, and squeezes his shoulder gently. A silent acknowledgement that he gets it, now.

"Are you finished processing, then?" Buck asks, sounding teasing, as he leans forward slightly. His eyes are very blue and very close, but Eddie doesn't move back.

Eddie shouldn't be surprised that Buck knew exactly where his head had been for the entirety of the drive back. He is shockingly perceptive when it comes to emotions, and, well, he knows Eddie too well. Eddie's smile turns into a laugh as he says, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm finished processing."

"Good," Buck says happily, and leans forward to press a chaste kiss to his mouth, as if that's all that he had been waiting for. Eddie blinks, but before he can respond, Buck is already sliding out from under him and clambering out of the truck cheerfully. 

"Hey— Hey, wait," Eddie sputters, feeling distinctly cheated, and scrambles to follow. He realizes that Buck knows exactly what he is doing when the blonde laughs and takes off for the locker room, giving Eddie no choice but to chase him with an exasperated, "Buck!"

"Not in the locker room!" Hen shouts after them, loud enough that _several_ heads turn in Eddie's direction as he jogs past, and he tries not to blush as furiously as he is. It's a bit of a lost cause, but he finds that he doesn't really care. 

He _really_ doesn't care when he finally catches up to Buck, flushed and slightly out of breath, leaning against Eddie's locker and grinning cheekily. Eddie is hopelessly attracted to him and incapable of being annoyed with his antics, even as he crosses the locker room to him swiftly. "You are such a _brat_ ," he grumbles, sliding his hand to the back of Buck's neck and pulling him down the scant few inches separating them for a proper kiss.

Buck kisses enthusiastically, with everything he has, because he's Buck and Buck never does anything by halves. Eddie is just thinking that he's made a terrible mistake with kissing him at work, because he can't possibly survive it, when Hen yells from the doorway in exasperation, "I said _not_ in the locker room!" 

Eddie breaks away, vaguely mortified, but Buck is beaming.

"He started it," the blonde says over Eddie's shoulder, the traitor, and wiggles out from under Eddie's arm to swing open his own locker. Eddie rubs a hand down his face, shoots an apologetic look to Hen, and goes about getting his locker — now free of obstruction — open. He can pretend nothing happened. He _can._

Hen just shakes her head, muttering about betting pools, and Eddie bites back a smile when Buck bumps his shoulder into his own. As Chimney wanders into the locker room, demanding to know if that was about what he thought it was about, everything starts to feel just like normal again. He's got his fire partner back. 

And then some, apparently. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello just here to say that [this post](https://whattarush.tumblr.com/post/641980540728311808) is the energy i was going for 2000%


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